Tag Archives: open marriage

Am I A Swinger

Swinger News - Am I A Swinger At some point in a relationship, the feeling of intimacy is questioned.  The question that tends to be on one’s mind “Is he/she satisfying me sexually?”  When couples don’t communicate about these issues, it tends to cause a problem in the relationship.  For some couples sexual intimacy is important in maintaining a healthy relationship, while others tend to get intimately irritated with it.   The swinging lifestyle is a type of secret society where one can explore their exotic sexual fantasies.  Couples are able then able to explore and live out these fantasies together.

My partner Tom and I are having trouble in our relationship.  We both had been unfaithful and have ventured out of the relationship to find excitement.  I began doing some research online to see if there was anyway we could fix things before they got any worse.  I was scrolling through a couples articles and came across a forum that spoke about swingers and their experiences.  I became quite interested and came upon a local swingers club’s website.  The website highlighted their events, rules, membership and contact information, so I decided to reach out.  I wasn’t sure what I was looking for or even thinking at the time, but all the same I decided to give it a shot.  I knew that I was looking for something new, an adventure, something my honey and I could experience together.  I was in love with him and wanted to make things better, but we were both missing something in this relationship so I decided to investigate the lifestyle.

I made a phone call and was greeted warmly by the manager that went by the name of Sam.  I introduced myself and explained to him that I was interested in exploring the swinging lifestyle and wondered if he had some time to talk.  After a brief conversation, he told me to stop by the club so we could chat some more and he would show me around and answer any questions I had.  I set up a date to visit him at the club.

Swinger News - Am I A SwingerI nervously approached the building that looked like a regular night club from outside.  When I entered, I was greeted by the warm voice that answered the phone.  “Hi, I’m Sam, welcome.” He said and shook my hand.  “Nice to meet you Sam, I’m Julie,” O replied with a slight grin on my face.  He invited me to have a seat with him so we could discuss what I wanted to know about the lifestyle.  My mind was racing and my eyes were looking all around.  I was still unsure if I had just stepped foot into some type of cult-like experience that I couldn’t walk away from. We spoke about my desires and the issues my partner and I were facing.   He went on to tell me how he got into swinging and how he started the swingers club.  The idea for the club came from nothing more than two friends joking around. He was always a good business man and one night they visited a swingers club.  His friend jokingly said you should start your own sex club and that was something that stuck with him.  After much though and planning, he opened the doors to the club in 2004 and used the internet to get the word out.

He went on to say that the first party was very successful and more than he had hoped for.  He said lots of people tuned up and most of them were out of towners.  We were the only swing club in the area and the nearest one was more than 200 miles away.  “People were genuinely excited to meet and mingle”, he explains. He also pointed out the fact that not every member is in a relationship. There were many married couples, lesbian couples, single men and women at the club that night.

Swinger News - Am I A Swinger He began to ask me a series of questions to determine what I was into and the type of Swinger I would be. He told me that the definition of a swinger is a sexually driven individual who enjoys the act of sex more than the idea of it and lives out their fantasies of multiple partners without cheating.  He went on to say that there were three types of swingers.  There are the hardcore swingers that are open about their involvement in the lifestyle. Then there are the double-life swingers who keep the lifestyle and friends in the lifestyle separate and private. Lastly there were the single swingers.  They include single men; women, gay men that participate in erotic play without a spouse, but they are mostly single women.  He also shared that hardcore and double-Life swingers are in love with their partners and playing in the lifestyle is just an extension to their thriving sexual relationship.  He also added that most of the swingers that attend these parties are parents and professionals within the community.

Before I left, he suggested that I check out a swingers dating website to get a feel for the lifestyle.  I went home and created an account for my partner just to see if we could meet up with a compatible couple.    After trolling the site and with no improvement to my relationship, I had decided to put the lifestyle on the back burner for a while.  To be honest, my relationship was still filled with insecurities and jealousy and swinging from what I was reading would not make it better.  While the idea of having an open relationship is appealing, I don’t think my current relationship is ready for the complexities of the Lifestyle.

Famous People in The LifeStyle

Stephen Hawking Visits California Sex Club Swingers have been around for so long that the term “swingers” or “swinging” did not mean to swap sexual partners.   The term “swing” or “swinger” had a different meaning in the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s, so much so, that it was taboo for a woman to be called a swinger.  The term took on a very different meaning in the 60’s and you can read more about that in the online swinger’s magazine.  Mainstream has not accepted the swinging lifestyle, so most people don’t broadcast that they are swingers out of fear of being ostracized by their family and peers.  But, every now and again you hear about a famous person who was a swinger or celebrity couples that embrace the lifestyle.

The most famous swinging couple known to mainstream is Will and Jada Smith.   They have been hounded by the media for years because they are known as active swingers.  There was even a rumor that Will Smith was dating Gabrielle Union while filming Bad Boys II, and Jada didn’t mind.  Shirley MacLaine, a well-known actress, singer, author and activist, opened up to Oprah about her 30 year open marriage that she shared with husband Steve Parker.  Buck Henry, the actor, writer and movie director, was a member of Plato’s Retreat in New York.  We all heard the news about Stephen Hawking, a famous physicist, cosmologist and author, who visited the California swingers club Freedom Acres where he pleasured himself with young naked dancers who performed privately for him.  Then there is the realty star Donn Gunvalson from the Real Housewives of O.C, he and his wife are going through a divorce and we are now learning that he is actually a regular at the same swingers club Stephen Hawkins visited, Freedom Acres in Devore, California.

Robert Heinlein, the science fiction writer who died in 1988 was also a swinger.  I have even read somewhere that Ben Franklin was a swinger and who can forget Hugh Hefner.  Hugh has always had at least 3 girlfriends at a time and has thrown wild, crazy parties and orgies at the playboy mansion.  Do you know of any celebrity couples or famous people then and now who are swingers?  We would love to hear from you.

Swinging and Polyamory

Swinging and Polyamory

Is there a difference between swinging and polyamory? The answer is YES, but are they similar, kind of, let me explain. First off in polyamory  is a desire, practice or accepting the fact that you are in more than one relationship, whereas swinging you are in a relationship with a spouse/significant other and both allowed to play. There are multiple types of the poly lifestyle, such as polygynous and polyandrous. In order to understand polyamory you need to understand the two different types. First up is polygynous, which refers to one husband that has multiple wives. Next up is polyandrous, in which one wife has multiple husbands, although less common it does exist.

In a swinging relationship both the man and woman are faithful in a relationship to each other, but allowed to play, and are not married to more than one person. Some swingers and polyamory relationships have a live in person.  That three people together in the relationship is known as a triad. People who identify as polyamorous typically reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are necessary for deep, committed, long-term loving relationships. Sex is not necessarily a primary focus in polyamorous relationships. In swinging, there is usually lots of sex involved, and as mentioned polyamory is defined as rejecting the view that sex is needed for a long term relationship. Swingers are in long term relationships, and get into the lifestyle to create a better bond, add spice to the relationship etc.